In a world nearly identical to ours, the North won the Civil War, Ben Affleck is the sexiest man alive, and Russia never sold Alaska to the U.S. Instead, Alaska is a rough, beautiful country ruled by a famously eccentric royal family, and urgently in need of a bride for the Crown Prince. But they have no idea what they're in for when they offer the job to a feisty commoner. . .a girl who's going to need. . .
The Royal Treatment
The Princess-To-Be Primer,
Or, Things I've Learned Really Quick, As Compiled by Her Future Royal Highness--Yeah, Whatever--Christina. That's me.
1. Telling jokes you picked up from the guys on the fishing boat doesn't go over really well at a fancy ball.
2. Must learn to curtsy, stifle burps, and tell the difference between a salad fork and a fruit knife.
3. Must not keep thinking about Prince David's amazing eyes, lips, hands, shoulders, uh. . .wait, can I start over?
4. Becoming a princess is a lot harder than it looks.
5. Falling in love is a whole lot easier. . .
In this dazzling, delightfully wacky tale from MaryJanice Davidson, a tough commoner and a royal prince are about to discover that who they truly are. . .and what they desperately desire. . .may both be closer than they ever dreamed. . .
Hysterically funny read! If you're looking for The Thornbirds or The Tudors - don't stop here. This is a book for those of us who worship at the altar of snarky dialogue. And for those who love a heroine so far south of Cinderella that she wouldn't have gone to the ball unless she was really bored or wanted to check out the appetizers. And a hero who's perfectly OK with marrying whoever Dad picked out and doing his best to produce an heir - when he's not busy with his studies on penguins, of course. Is he surprised when she says no...
“Why won’t you marry me?” he blurted, then smacked himself on the forehead.
“Whoa! Easy on the self-flagellation, there, dude.”
“I’m supposed to woo you,” he explained.
“Well, don’t waste the woo on me. Not that it’s not a really nice offer. Because it is!”
“So. Why won’t you?”
“Because, frankly, being queen sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“I offer you a country and you tell me it’s a pain in the ass?”
The basic setup is Alaska was never bought by the US so it seceded and set up its own monarchy. Now several generations later the royal family continues to be made up of intelligent but eccentric characters: such as the King who sneaks off to go fishing in disguise and Crown Prince David who knows that that he'll be king one day but is far more interested in using his Marine Biology degree studying penguins. Enter Christina, newly fired from a cruise ship where she was a cook for objecting to the head chef's advances. She is a no-nonsense American with down-to-earth values - who the King meets and decides she'll be just PERFECT for David. As the first step he talks her into visiting them at the Sitka Palace...
Cut to parts 2 & 3 - preparations and the royal wedding
Christina's comment: Getting married’s probably not so bad. It’s all the screwing around beforehand that gives you a migraine.
On the way to the wedding, Christina proceeds to run roughshod over dress designers, protocol officers, catering staff, wedding planners, and various wedding traditions to finally achieve a royal wedding without frou-frou, a wedding dress she could breathe in, shoes she could walk in, and a Crisco-free wedding cake.
And lastly, part 4 - if this was Cinderella it would be fade to black behind the 'And they lived happily ever after...' voiceover. But it isn't and things happen and the action gets intense...
Again, this is a funny book. In fact, it's a very funny book. Fun characters, intriguing setting and a plot that moves right along. Enjoy!
Alaskan Royal Family
1. The Royal Treatment
2. The Royal Pain
3. The Royal Mess