Title: Four Play
Author: Amalie Silver
Release Date: July 13, 2015
Blurb
From the author of the Internationally Bestselling Satire Word Play comes this collection of laugh-out-loud novellas, all guaranteed to curl your toes and challenge your morals.
Titles include:
Titles include:
Surrendering to Innocence
(Previously published in Forbidden Fruit, Volume II)
Big Balls
(Previously published in Nighttides)
Debating Number Ten
(Previously published in Hot for Teacher)
Fair Play
(The brand new prequel novella to Word Play)
(Previously published in Forbidden Fruit, Volume II)
Big Balls
(Previously published in Nighttides)
Debating Number Ten
(Previously published in Hot for Teacher)
Fair Play
(The brand new prequel novella to Word Play)
Links to Buy
Also Available
Excerpt
“No, no, no,” Jack cut in. “You need to get her engine fired up. Make her panties wet. You have to be forceful, take control. They eat up that shit.”
Martin shook his head. “No. I’m telling you, there are only two ways to get a girl in your bed at a place like this. Shakespeare or poetry.”
“Shakespeare?” I asked. “Don’t you think that’s a little cheesy?”
“Not at all,” Martin replied. “Just walk up to her and say ‘but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!’”
“And then add,” Jack insisted, “the sun isn’t the only thing around here that rises.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Why was I even considering listening to them? It seemed that the guy who was about to become a priest had the best advice.
“Shakespeare? Really?” I wasn’t comfortable with it, but with the alcohol and one glance at the blonde that had just walked in, I felt my inhibitions fade away. Maybe the guys knew more about this kind of thing than me. Although judging from their track record in school, I had my doubts. I didn’t remember the last time any of them had a girlfriend.
Fuck it.
Why not? You only live once. Why shouldn’t I have tried to take advantage of the situation? Jack was right, as painful as it was for me to admit. By my calculations, ninety-three percent of the women at the bar were there for the convention. My chances of scoring one who knew something about Shakes were pretty good.
I slammed back the rest of my drink and pulled a wad of courage from my left nut.
I can do this.
None of the guys looked convinced. Duncan gave a lopsided smile, Martin shoved his earbud back in his ear, and Jack sat cross-legged, calmly folding his hands in his lap. I really hoped they wouldn’t watch me; it was going to be hard enough as it was, let alone while I had an audience.
I drew two deep breaths and stood. The blonde at the bar sat alone, sipping her drink, and I took several confident strides toward her as I tried to piece together what I was going to say.
“Hi,” I whispered.
But the music was too loud, and she couldn’t hear me.
So I tried again.
“Hi,” I shouted, causing her to flinch and dribble some of her drink down her chin.
Smooth, asshole.
“It’s loud in here!” I said, without as much force that time.
She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to remember the line I was supposed to use.
But it wasn’t coming. We remained smiling at each other until the moment became strange.
Then uncomfortable.
And then it verged on painful.
What was I going to say? Did we decide I was going to introduce myself? Or was it poetry?
Shakespeare!
“But soft, what…light through yonder window breaks,” I began, trying not to stutter.
Her eyes widened, and I knew I had her attention, but as my palms grew clammy and my chest hollowed, I realized that the Juliet line wouldn’t work.
Unless her name was Juliet. Which was unlikely.
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. That’s not going to work! Dammit! I need something else! It’s too late! I have to finish the damn quote!
I swallowed, and spat out the first thing my mind could make sense of.
“My dick rises in the east.”
ReviewMartin shook his head. “No. I’m telling you, there are only two ways to get a girl in your bed at a place like this. Shakespeare or poetry.”
“Shakespeare?” I asked. “Don’t you think that’s a little cheesy?”
“Not at all,” Martin replied. “Just walk up to her and say ‘but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!’”
“And then add,” Jack insisted, “the sun isn’t the only thing around here that rises.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Why was I even considering listening to them? It seemed that the guy who was about to become a priest had the best advice.
“Shakespeare? Really?” I wasn’t comfortable with it, but with the alcohol and one glance at the blonde that had just walked in, I felt my inhibitions fade away. Maybe the guys knew more about this kind of thing than me. Although judging from their track record in school, I had my doubts. I didn’t remember the last time any of them had a girlfriend.
Fuck it.
Why not? You only live once. Why shouldn’t I have tried to take advantage of the situation? Jack was right, as painful as it was for me to admit. By my calculations, ninety-three percent of the women at the bar were there for the convention. My chances of scoring one who knew something about Shakes were pretty good.
I slammed back the rest of my drink and pulled a wad of courage from my left nut.
I can do this.
None of the guys looked convinced. Duncan gave a lopsided smile, Martin shoved his earbud back in his ear, and Jack sat cross-legged, calmly folding his hands in his lap. I really hoped they wouldn’t watch me; it was going to be hard enough as it was, let alone while I had an audience.
I drew two deep breaths and stood. The blonde at the bar sat alone, sipping her drink, and I took several confident strides toward her as I tried to piece together what I was going to say.
“Hi,” I whispered.
But the music was too loud, and she couldn’t hear me.
So I tried again.
“Hi,” I shouted, causing her to flinch and dribble some of her drink down her chin.
Smooth, asshole.
“It’s loud in here!” I said, without as much force that time.
She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to remember the line I was supposed to use.
But it wasn’t coming. We remained smiling at each other until the moment became strange.
Then uncomfortable.
And then it verged on painful.
What was I going to say? Did we decide I was going to introduce myself? Or was it poetry?
Shakespeare!
“But soft, what…light through yonder window breaks,” I began, trying not to stutter.
Her eyes widened, and I knew I had her attention, but as my palms grew clammy and my chest hollowed, I realized that the Juliet line wouldn’t work.
Unless her name was Juliet. Which was unlikely.
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. That’s not going to work! Dammit! I need something else! It’s too late! I have to finish the damn quote!
I swallowed, and spat out the first thing my mind could make sense of.
“My dick rises in the east.”
Fair Play
I really enjoyed Amalie's Word Play and looked forward to the prequel novella at the end of Fair Play. It gives a really nice insight into Michael and Lauren's first meeting. If you haven't read Word Play yet, then it's probably a good idea to read Fair Play first. It's not imperative, but introduces you to the characters you'll come across.
I loved how Mike tries to prove that romance novels are all cliches. Without giving too much away, I can't say much more. The humour is great, the mishaps are great and if i hadn't read Word Play first, I would've been shitty at the ending!
I laughed hard, and not just at these little gems here where he takes her horseriding as an example of the stereotyped cliche:
"I, on the other hand, was given a smaller black and white horse that looked like it was nearing retirement and had a bad binge with vodka and two hookers the night before."
The end of this had me snorting, but you need the lead up first:
"Riding a horse was definitely something one had to get used to. I'd never read a Western, but the guys in the movies made that shit look easy. Maybe I was doing it wrong. Or perhaps I should've worn a tighter pair of underwear, because my boys slapped against the saddle with every trot."
And perhaps I have a warped sense of humour, but that made my night!
Enjoy!
Big Balls
This is the first in the collection. Softball player falls for a guy, despite promising herself to never do that. Especially during the game season. Oops!
I have some quotes that made me laugh.
"Whatever his intentions, I was two minutes away from dry-humping my cup holder."
Jack (Jacqueline) prides herself on being not girly, so when Amalie threw this one in--"It was official: I'd turned into a chick."--I couldn't help but laugh aloud.
These weren't the only chuckle-worthy lines, but rather the ones I remembered to highlight!
Debating Number Ten
Young man, just turned eighteen, has had his sights set on seducing his teacher for the past three years. His sexual experience has been growing, and it's all been for her until a new student throws him off balance.
This is a good read. It was actually kind of enjoyable to watch a man-whore be brought down a peg or two. When he finally realises the way he's treated the nine girls he's slept with was cruel, it's because he gets a taste of his own medicine.
He also experiences what it should be like to connect with someone else.
Surrender to Innocence
Mother of an eighteen-year-old gets back on the horse after ten years of nothing. His best friend seduces her... The trepidation and disasters preceding the short-lived affair are kind of funny though, even if it is a hang-your-head-and-chuckle-sadly way. I did like her friend from high school, Mona (or MoanAhh!)
Author Bio
Amalie Silver resides in Minnesota with her husband, two toddlers, and German Short-haired Pointer, Saba. She consumes approximately three pots of coffee a day, and credits this for her survival over the past decade.
When not completely consumed in her writing, she can be found taking road trips to northern Minnesota, engaging in fierce Scrabble games, or reading a good book. She’s a sucker for all romance genres, literary fiction, and psychological fiction.
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